We are very conscious of violent physical abuse of children because of the publicity around resulting deaths. However, neglect and psychological stress can be at least as important, or even more important, a problem as physical and sexual abuse. We also seem to be unaware of the long-term psychological results of child abuse.
Our ignorance of non-physical child abuse and its long-term psychological effects means we often don’t acknowledge the harm done to many children.
Child abuse survivors suffer from long-term post-traumatic stress disorder. Symptoms such as flashbacks, nightmares, intrusive negative thoughts, low self-esteem, compulsive behaviour, anger, disturbed sleep, hyper-vigilance, shame, guilt, etc. are common.
Persistent psychological abuse of children can result from continual disparaging comments or continual exposure to physical and verbal violence between adult care-givers and parents. Psychological stress can also result from the controlling behaviour of care-givers.
Religious abuse of children
Religion is beginning to be recognised as a possible source of psychological stress on children. This is particularly so for children raised in exclusive religious cults and sects.
Jill Mytton, a former member of a religious group called the Exclusive Brethren, is a counseling psychologist who works with child abuse survivors and has many escapees from such sects among her patients. She was interviewed about this by Richard Dawkins for the TV series “The Root of all Evil?”
The uncut video of this, and the other interviews made for this series, is now available on DVD. I found this hour-long interview one of the most interesting and recommend it to anyone interested in the problem of religious abuse of children and its long-term effects.
Suppression of a personal moral sense
Mytton stresses that although religious child abuse is not restricted to cults like the Exclusive Brethren a religious upbringing can be healthy – provided it occurs in an open and flexible atmosphere. If this is absent the child can suffer from the stultification of a personal moral and intellectual sense.
This happens when the naturally inquisitive mind of the child is suppressed and a religious “truth” and morality are imposed. The child is not brought up to develop their own belief system, or even to be aware that there are other belief systems. They are dependent on a system imposed by their religion or parents.
Fear
Some religions produce a childhood dominated by fear – a real fear of hell, of disapproval in the present and of eternal damnation. This is a trauma which has effects lasting well into adulthood.
The judgemental atmosphere of some religions produces a stunted appreciation of love in the child. All she gets is conditional love and continually seeks to avoid judgment and to search for limited rewards.
As well as preventing critical assessment of information closed religious sects also restrict the availability of information through control of education, access to TV, films and compiuters. Social activity ios also restricted.
Limiting the natural inquiring mind
Mytton describes how she now has difficulty understanding the concept of ‘friend’ because of social restrictions in her childhood. She is also aware that she feels the need to ask for permission to investigate controversial issues – her natural sense of inquiry has been restricted. Escapers from such cults usually have great difficulty dealing with normal social activity. Personal decisions are difficult because this experience was denied them within the cult.
Unhealthy religions don’t allow children to ask questions – consequences can be harsh for an inquiring child. The natural inquiring mind of the child is suppressed.
As with physical and sexual forms of child abuse the motivation of the abusers, the relgious leaders, is usually their desire to control – to have a sense of power.
See also:
Bishop Richard Harries (On line video of uncut interview for The Root of all Evil?)
Alister McGrath (On line video of uncut interview for The Root of all Evil?)
‘Root of All Evil? The Original Program’ available now on DVD
‘Root of All Evil? The Uncut Interviews’ Released on DVD
Similar articles:
Facing up to child abuse
Putting the Bible in its place
From faith to hatred
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19 responses so far ↓
Nancy Lee Gray // April 27, 2008 at 1:45 am
Well said… thanks! There needs to be more awareness of all forms of child abuse. Blogs such as yours help make that happen. Some forms of abuse are so subtle that only the damaged child is aware of the abuse on some level below the language necessary to describe it, although often the child’s altered behaviors are screams for help.
lyn // April 27, 2008 at 1:34 pm
Good to see this article. In the EB, even in my day, prior to 1967, there were rumours of abuse of children, teenagers, and several brothers and sisters were withdrawn from because of homosexual relationships, male and female, and husbands and wives had affairs. To think of it, the EB in those days were pretty awful. The system works on fear.Fear of being cut off from family and friends. I know of a case where a young son left the EB and all his childhood photos, books, and all pertaining to his life were destroyed. Only what he escaped with is what he has to this day. The trouble is the control is so great that people can’t face leaving and they put up with it.
sherliez // April 27, 2008 at 4:57 pm
There should be an awareness drive or campaign for child abuse. Parents could be unaware that they could be harassing their child with their custom or beliefs…
sherliez
lyn // April 27, 2008 at 6:03 pm
My experience within the EB was that parents do not now they are putting their children under stress and strain. How seemingly intelligent people allow this to happen is beyond belief. Very interesting to note that In Australia the show the Big Brother will have as a house mate an ex EB. What he may say regarding his experiences will be very interesting.
matjew // April 27, 2008 at 9:31 pm
It can be dangerous to conflate religion in general with extreme cults or sects. Non-religious ideologies can of course include brainwashing and repression and have just as pernicious effects on children. A climate where children’s behavior is too controlled or repressed, or where they cannot ask questions, seems to be the main circumstance of abuse you are alluding to, and it may be a valid point for study. But to confuse that with ‘religion’ or imply that it is a necessary outcome of a religious upbringing is a dangerous generalization and weakens your main point.
Dale Campbell // April 27, 2008 at 10:09 pm
Well said, Matjew.
-d-
Ken // April 28, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Interesting Matjew. You seem to have interpreted my post as conflating “religion in general with extreme cults or sects” despite my referring to Mytton’s comment that “a religious upbringing can be healthy.” She refers to the religious involvement is such matters as cover a whole spectrum from good to toxic.
I don”t think you are justified in attributing to me the claim that child abuse is a “necessary outcome of a religious upbringing.” Of course such a claim would be “a dangerous generalization.”
Perhaps you are hypersensitive to any criticism of religion?
I think for Mytton, who works with victims of child abuse in general (not just religious abuse), but is also a survivor of the Exclusive Brethren experience, it is only natural she would include that form of abuse in her studies. This is valuable because religious child abuse (as non-physical child abuse in general) is general underestimated or even not recognised.
I agree with you that: “A climate where children’s behavior is too controlled or repressed, or where they cannot ask questions, seems to be the main circumstance of abuse you are alluding to, and it may be a valid point for study.” I would widen this to include the general persistent psychological stress that can occur despite the lack of controlling or repressing environment.
Of course we should be aware of, study and highlight child abuse that occurs within non-religious groups. (Actually, I have a hard time thinking of any specific non-religious group where this may be a problem currently – perhaps you could suggest some Matjew?). However, let’s not allow sensitivity to criticism of religion prevent us from studying, or even being aware of, the abuse that can, and does, go on within cults and similar toxic religions. (Let’s not forget what his happening even within the mainstream Catholic Church).
To ignore, or excuse, this abuse is to abandon helpless children.
emily // April 29, 2008 at 3:03 am
I am currently living in the US and the media coverage of the polygmaist comound story is fascinating. Over and over people go on about how this should effect how we see ‘Mormonism’. But nobody has every suggested it has anything to do with Mormonism as far as I saw. Funny how pretty much the same people are happy to generalise terrotism to islam and expect Muslim leaders to apologised for and distance themselves from stuff they had nothing to do with in the first place….
Dale // April 29, 2008 at 4:58 pm
just a random thought, but if it’s psychological abuse of children we’re on about, then I’d want to raise the question of whether or not various forms of advertising aimed at children could be seen as a form of abuse. I think it’s a compelling idea.
Ken // April 29, 2008 at 5:31 pm
Maybe, Dale, in the sense that we are all influenced to conform, to purchase, etc., by advertising. And I agree that some advertising today is aimed at developing inapropriate responses in chidlren – anything to create a market.
However, I think this pales compared against the effects of persistent psychological or physical abuse. I don’t think it causes the sort of psychological damage we see in child abuse survivors – lasting for the rest of their lives.
matjew // April 29, 2008 at 9:32 pm
Ken, I just think you’re not being careful enough with your language, and it weakens your point.
You say “Some religions produce a childhood dominated by fear – a real fear of hell, of disapproval in the present and of eternal damnation.” That’s not just talking about cults. It might even be true, but ’some religions’ needs to be qualified. You do quote Mytton’s positive statement but in such a way as it might only be referring to ‘Suppression of a personal moral sense’.
Look, generally I agree with you. I’m just saying that if you want your (valid) warning of the prevalence of harmful patterns towards children in organized religious behavior to be HEARD, you need to be more careful and accurate about the specific patterns and behaviors, not just say ‘the mainstream Catholic church…’
Ken // April 30, 2008 at 11:34 am
Matjew, I think you are nit-picking here – possibly because you are sensitive to criticism of religion. “Some” is a qualification. A detailed analysis of religions would be nice – but inappropriate for a short post.
I think that while cults may be an extreme example the problems Mytton referred to are also common with some other religions. (I like Mytton’s characterisation of a continuum from toxic to healthy). Judgementalism, guilt and an “assembly” rather than personal version of morality is quite common. I hasten to add that I think we find this in non-religious groups do (The Maoist groups of the 60s and 70s come to mind). So, if I say “some political groups” (for example) can produce a climate of fear and guilt please realise that I have provided a brief qualification – although of course it would be interesting (in a more extensive article) to desctibe which ones are more prone to this behaviour.
Dale // April 30, 2008 at 6:47 pm
Two more cents…
A negative (yet, of course, real) spin on the very normal,human activity of moral guidance…
personal… hmm… you don’t mean ‘individualistic’ do you?
Don’t get me wrong, physchological abuse is real and a tradgedy. It’s just that it’s (you’ve heard me say this before) more complicated than simple denouncements imply…
Moral guidance is tricky business, but still a very needed thing in families, groups, communities, and society in general. There’s more than one extreme here, and the opposite extreme of Jugmentalism (which I agree is toxic) is Apathy…
Ken // May 1, 2008 at 10:45 am
I was impressed by the important issues that Mytton brought out in her interview. It’s a real pity it’s not available online (as far as I know).
Her personal experience of becoming aware that the assembly imposed morality actually denied her own development of a personal moral sense was very enlightening to me. Of course the same thing happens when the imposition of “religious truth” (by the “assembly) squashes the development of the normal healthy enquiring mind in the child.
Of course, none of this denies the role of parents and society in providing moral and intellectual guidance. But it’s extremely sad when an adult doesn’t know, within herself, what is right and wrong or what her likes and dislikes are without appealing to someone else (parents or assemblies). It’s also sad when an adult cannot consider ‘controversial’ ideas because they think to do so (without permission) is wrong.
Moral and intellectual guidance in a healthy, open and flexible atmosphere is quite different to imposition and motivation through fear.
Interesting though, Dale, while you seem to be equating one extreme with the other I actually experienced (within the family) the apathy you refer to. Technically I suffered abuse as a child – from neglect and psychological stress rather than judgmentalism (although we all got plenty of that from society in general). I know I have been able to develop my own personal moral sense and preserve a natural enquiring mind. I don’t know for sure, of course, but I suspect this may not have happened if I had suffered the abuse Mytton talks about.
Pete // May 16, 2008 at 1:01 am
Yes i agree Matjew maybe seems to be a little hypersensitive to any criticism of religion . And thats probably not something thats at all to scarce these days .And neither has it been to scarse for many thousands of years .After all if so called christians were more willing .Had been in the past more willing to look at these things without trying to make avenues for excuses or scapegoats .It is very much less likely these cults and sects would come to pass in the first place .As a ex member of this cult myself ,it sickens me but i dont find it at all surprising that these proud christians feel the need to be so defensive . After all false pride is the reason that keeps these cults and sects from appearing from many many differnt dominations from time to time .And is most likely one of the very reasons that many youth today dont bother to join .
Psychological religious abuse sadly cannot often be seen with the naked eye .Unlike sombody who has suffered a punch in the face that might produce a black eye ,the sufferers of this abuse often need to try to put up with the effects of this abuse for the total length of their lives .Doing the best they can to live with it , as it is something unseen and only just becoming in this day and age to be slightly understood for the hidden effects that it has.
But there is hope !! .Because no matter who trys to soften the problem with words of pride and suggestions of purity .
Thank God these days society not quite so often allows the religious the right to hide amongst beliefs , with the ease that they in the past have had the free reign to hide within .
And though it is early days of change yet , the time is coming when these things will be looked at for what they truthfully are .
Bodhi McLeod // November 18, 2008 at 12:36 pm
I’m writing a book about the subject of religious abuse and looking for survivors to interview. If you’re a survivor, especially if you were raised evangelical and told that you were possessed by a demon, please e-mail me at bodhi_kat@ymail.com if you’d like to be interviewed. I can keep your name, the names of your family members and any identifying details completely anonymous.
Yes, Matjew is being very defensive for some reason.
I was religiously abused as a child. I was not part of a cult. We went to mainstream evangelical churches. I was made to very afraid of God’s judgment, Satan, demons and Hell. When I was about twelve years old my mother told me I was possessed by a demon, just because we had disagreements. I believed her. I thought I was possessed by a demon until I was about thirty years old, when after two years of therapy I finally figured out that I’m not.
I think the phrase “religious abuse” is perfectly appropriate. There are other forms of psychological abuse, but religious abuse is a specific type of abuse that uses religion as its medium. We cannot ignore the fact that in these cases, the use of religion is central to the abuse.
Psychological abuse of children « Open Parachute // February 7, 2009 at 8:00 am
[...] is the full uncut video made for the TV series “root of all Evil. I discussed this before in Psychological and religious abuse of children. The subjects discussed in the interview are extremely important so I am very pleased the interview [...]
Larry // May 27, 2009 at 7:37 am
The question is asked whether religious abuse of children happens only in extreme sects and cults, or is part of mainstream religious upbringing such as Christianity. My experience is that religion can hurt children even through what are considered mainstream beliefs. The Abrahamic tradition of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam teaches that nudity is shameful, masturbation is wrong, and sex is a sin. When I was five and quite ignorant, a neighbor girl was showing me how to play doctor. My father whipped me with a belt for 15 to 20 minutes and told me “Don’t you ever do that again!” over and over. My family was Methodist. There were no cultish aspects about our practice or beliefs. This has been borne out over the years since then by many Christians who confirmed that sex is properly subject to all of the restrictions in the Bible— women belong to men, adultery violates the property rights of men and God, the passion of sex is sinful in every venue except the reproductive purpose of a sanctified marriage, thus barring homosexuality, fornication, masturbation, and even letting yourself think about such things. Only the most pure expressions of sexuality in a church-sanctified marriage between a man and a woman are acceptable or forgiveable by God. The ways this can be done sinfully are many, can be subtle, and we are greatly admonished to be on vigilant guard against such temptations in ourselves, our spouses, our children, and our neighbors is known as one of our most sacred religious duties. None of this is in any way unusual or extreme by the standards I have heard expressed by Christians of many denominations. Anyone who suggests that it is more important to be loving and patient with people who break these rules is warned that weakness about these matters imperils their souls with eternal torment in Hell. Though there are Christians who find this troubling, they are considered as slackers in zealousy as followers, servants, and soldiers of God by fundamentalist Christians, and their tolerance is considered to be a doctrinal error. If you ask a fundamentalist about this, they will bend your ear for as long as you sit still for it with endless Bible verses, considered Holy Scripture, that supports the doctrine of sexual uncleanness. They will tell you that to be a Christian means the strict following of the Biblical commandments against sinful sex. If you do not accept this, they will dismiss you as someone with whom they cannot associate as friends or neighbors, nor discuss non-sexual matters of propriety and morality because your whole life is considered to be tainted by your sexual uncleanness and doctrinal error. You can try using Biblical evidence to reach a more balanced and gracious view of alternative sex practices, but when I have tried this, I have never succeeded in changing anyone’s mind any further than for them to say they will not actively throw stones to kill sinners, and even after they say this, they immediately resume their persecution of sexual sinners. Having lived with this for fifty years, I had almost no sex before marriage, I wasn’t married until I was 37, and my marriage has become sexless for years. I am depressed, anxious, and fearful about even discussing sex. I don’t think this is right, but I have little hope I will ever see this change, nor that I will ever have sex again.
Ken // May 27, 2009 at 1:44 pm
I agree with you Larry that even the more “normal” religions have got a lot to answer for. Particularly in the area iof sexual attitudes they have done a lot of damage. To some extent our generation has lost out irretrievably. But perhaps more enlightened ideas are common in modern society so younger generations will have less problems. And hopefully society will be less tolerant of such anti-human attitudes promoted by modern religions.