Philosophical sausages

Any scientist who has experienced the frustration of debating the theologically inclined, or the philosophically inclined who have a theological bent, will appreciate this. I certainly do.

It’s from Answers in Genes: Show me the Sausages! (and thanks to Pharyngula for the link I think this is another version of The Courtier’s Reply)


Show me the Sausages!

A philosopher designs a marvellous sausage machine. A scientist comes
to marvel at this wonderful creation, and raises an eyebrow.
The philosopher says, “Ah, behold the wonderful cogs and sprockets and
temperature-controlled mixing chambers in my wonderful machine -
surely you can see how it must produce the most fantastic sausages!”
The scientist says “Yes, that is all very interesting. Show me the sausages.”
The philosopher says “How dare you, a mere scientist, question my
wonderful philosophical reasoning?”
Scientist: “I’m not questioning your reasoning – I want to know if
your machine really produces sausages.”
Philosopher: “Can you point to any flaw in my argument that it
produces sausages?”
Sci: “I don’t know – I just want to know if it produces sausages. Here
is some meat. Why don’t you feed it through and see if you get any
sausages?”
Phil: “And sully my wonderful machine with mere offal?”
Sci: “You said it was a sausage machine. I want to see the sausages.”
Phil: “Are you questioning my ingredients?”
Sci: “I’m just questioning whether it produces sausages or not. Show
me the sausages.”
Phil: “Ah, so you cannot attack my premises and you cannot attack my
argument. Therefore I’m right and you lose.”
Sci: “Don’t be such a melodramatic prancing arse. Show me the sausages.”
Phil: “The sausages inevitably flow from the argument. You see my fine
machine. You can even inspect the meat & onions. The sausages
necessarily flow.”
Sci: “Show me the sausages or I’m off to Tesco.”
Phil: “You are a mere scientist with no understanding of philosophical matters.”
Sci: “Bye.”


Love that “Don’t be such a melodramatic prancing arse.” Reminds me of a few people!

I have often thought that “The proof of the pudding is in the eating” is an important philosophical principle. Unfortunately one that some people never learn.

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One response to “Philosophical sausages

  1. Too many times on this blog people have used “philosophy” to pull the wool over people’s eyes as opposed to keeping things clear and open and honest.
    When they are called on their nonsense, they retreat further in to waffleworld and then clutch at the Courtier’s Reply as a defense.

    The scientist says “Yes, that is all very interesting. Show me the sausages.”
    The philosopher says “How dare you, a mere scientist, question my
    wonderful philosophical reasoning?”
    (…)
    Phil: “Ah, so you cannot attack my premises and you cannot attack my
    argument. Therefore I’m right and you lose.”
    (…)
    Sci: “Show me the sausages or I’m off to Tesco.”
    Phil: “You are a mere scientist with no understanding of philosophical matters.”

    Genius.
    It’s uncanny how accurate is this parody. It’s wonderful.
    I vote that we ready the word “sausage” for use at a moments notice. The Courtier’s Reply is bound to happen again here very soon. They just can’t help themselves.

    Santapologetics

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