Catholic popes victims of sexual abuse!

The Vatican’s janitor, Giuseppe "Beppe" Falduto, is accused of making popes watch him masturbate.

Love this Onion news article: Trusted Sistine Chapel Janitor Convicted Of Sexually Abusing Last 4 Popes. Like a lot of Onion articles it’s not only funny but also makes an ironic point.

I almost feel some sympathy for those poor, abused, popes. Apparently “Beppe” “over a period of six decades frequently exploited his position to compel Pope Paul VI, Pope John Paul I, Pope John Paul II, and Pope Benedict XVI to engage in unwanted sexual activity.”


“Richard Blevins, a psychologist and consultant to the International Conference of Catholic Bishops, said the decades-long cycle of sexual abuse likely would have continued if no one had reported the misconduct, because in most pope abuse cases it is often difficult for the Vicar of Christ and Successor to St. Peter to speak up about what has happened to him at the hands of a trusted adult.

“Many popes feel deeply ashamed and are afraid that if they try to talk about the abuse, no one will believe them,” Blevins said. “It’s important to keep an eye out for the common signs of papal molestation, such as the Holy Father avoiding direct eye contact while saying mass or becoming shy and withdrawn during an audience with foreign dignitaries.”

Added Blevins, “I’ve talked to cardinals who say that in hindsight, there did always seem to be something wrong with each of the last four Popes whenever the janitor was mopping up nearby.””

Who would have thought it – sexual abuse going on in the very heart of the church – the one place you expect moral behaviour!

7 responses to “Catholic popes victims of sexual abuse!

  1. LOL awesome! I love The Onion.


  2. One day, Catholics will wake up one fine morning and realise that it was their own children that were raped by their own priests. They will also realise that it was not an abberation, not a bizarre one-off incident. They will discover that it was long-term, world-wide and the pedophiles were fully known and protected all the way by the Vatican.
    They will read the papers and get angry.
    Very angry.

    Their magic, invisible friend just sat back and munched popcorn while little boys and girls were forced to orally and anally satisfy church officials in the vestry.
    One day Catholics will realize that and stop putting money in the collection plate.
    One fine day, the last Catholic church will close it doors for good and the last Catholic priest will be arrested and charged for being an accessory to rape.
    It cannot happen quickly enough.
    Yet for it to happen, it needs Catholics to do it.

    Harry Shearer: DEAF BOYS – Harry Shearer: Politics


  3. Dear Cedric

    You do not understand faith at all. It does not matter what the evidence shows, the faithful will ignore it and continue to remain faithful to the beleif.

    Oh wait I forgot, you are an unbending member of the Church of Climastrology, you completely understand faith.

    I was wrong, I apologise.


  4. Oh wait I forgot, you are an unbending member of the Church of Climastrology, you completely understand faith.

    You also forgot that science is not a religion.
    Just ask NASA and every single scientific community on the planet.
    Poor Klem.

    NASA: Climate Change; A Warming World (HD)


  5. Yea that’s right, poor me.


  6. donalda elliott

    the catholic popes or males,,, will burn and definitely suffer for the abuse in the nuns and the male and female little children of the earth,,, what a horrid travesity of the so called catholic religion, but, this also happens in any relgion, but the popes hide behind their robes,,, and how many citizens actually believe the catholic religion to be true,,, far from it,,,


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