Putting the IPCC in its place?

My PhotoThe blog The Climate Scum is worth keeping an eye on. It’s satirical, of course, but it’s content is not too far from what we often find on the internet. By the way it’s written by Baron von Monckhofen (right).

Here’s an extract from a recent post Reforming the IPCC: how to do it properly!

“The following measures are intended to turn the IPCC and its future assessment reports into vehicles for Truth and Reason instead of vehicles for Eco-Fascist Fraud and Deception, as they have been so far.

  1. No communists like Hansen and Mann should be allowed to participate. Only politically independent and objective people should be allowed. Thus, alls participants must have read and memorized “Atlas Shrugged”.
  2. No people who receive grants for doing climate science should be allowed to participate. Such people will just make up scary things so they can get even more grants. Only economically independent people should be allowed.
  3. Likewise, no people who publish climate science articles in peer-reviewed journals should be allowed. They just want to cite their own papers and those of their tribe.
  4. No Chinese or Indians, who just want to weaken the competiveness of the West. Tricky bastards!
  5. No previous IPCC participant can participate in the new IPCC (in particular not Pachauri)! . As everybody who has any experience with management knows, if you want to change an organization the first thing you must do is to get rid of all members/employees.
  6. All previous IPCC participants must release all the email correspondence they have ever had. Releasing email correspondence is vital for the auditing of science and to guarantee repeatability and transparency.
  7. All IPCC prisoners must be released and all weapons of mass destructions must be disarmed.
  8. Any IPCC participant that claims that CO2 can affect the climate must, in order to be credible, abstain from travelling in airplanes and in cars, living indoors, eating warmed food and breathing.
  9. No use of models. Good science is based on empirical observations, and not models. In particular, any “predictions” and “projections” about the future must be entirely based on observations, and not models. If Galileo and Newton and Maxwell and Einstein had bee diddling with models, science would never have progressed.
  10. No use of temperature data. Temperature data, whether from thermometers on the ground or those mounted on satellites, are notoriously unreliable and affected by the urban heat island effect.
  11. Likewise, sea level data, carbon dioxide data, precipitation data, arctic ice volume data and climate proxies must be avoided, as they are inherently unreliable and unscientific.
  12. Climate data from other planets must be included, so we can compare the warming on Earth, the Moon, Mars, Jupiter, Haley’s comet and the iron-core Sun. No theory that cannot explain all these warming incidents should be taken seriously.
  13. Anecdotal evidence, such as medieval Chinese fleets navigating around the North Pole, should not be dismissed unless proven wrong beyond the shadow of a doubt. To rely more on instruments than on human observers and chroniclers is elitistic and in its essence anti-human.
  14. No references should be allowed to any shady grey literature, like WWF reports. Only shiningly white NGOs working for the benefit of mankind, like the Heartland Institute, should be referenced. White humans are more important than grey frogs!
  15. No references should be allowed to journals like Nature and Science, which have been participating in the suppression of AGW-skeptical papers. Only truly openminded and unbiased journals like Energy & Environment should be referenced.
  16. For each unbalanced alarmist reference, there must be at least one skeptical reference in order to assure fairness and balance.
  17. Uncertainty should be specified according to the scale “Uncertain”, “Highly uncertain”, “Extremely uncertain” and “Completely wrong”.
  18. The best science nowadays is done on blogs, were new ideas easily can be proposed and peer review is instant. Hence, the focus of the assessment reports should be moved from reviewing what is published in the ivory-tower journals to what is published on the blog science blogs. The blogs belonging to journals like Science and Nature do not count – they are just ivory tower blogs masquerading as blog science blogs.
  19. The assessment reports should not exceed 20 pages, and all information should be presented as comic strips. In that way, even illiterate people with a limited attention span will be able to comprehend it. (Like Al Gore, he he!)
  20. In order to ensure its independence, the IPCC should not receive any funding from governments. Instead, it has find its own financing, for instance by selling advertisements in the assessment reports. The taxpayer money that is saved can be used for more important things, like eradicating malaria and giving tax cuts for productive citizens.”
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11 responses to “Putting the IPCC in its place?

  1. That will keep me chuckling all day. Very close to the bone.Another site in the same vein is Denial Depot. Worth checking out.

    We are not afraid to be called climate “deniers”. In fact we embrace it as medal of honor bestowed on us by our alarmist foes. Galileo was a Denier. It is not an insult. I call this blog “Denier Depot” for that reason.

    Welcome to my climate science blog.

    I believe that one day all science will be done on blogs because we bloggers are natural skeptics, disbelieving the mainstream and accepting the possibility of any alternative idea.

    We stand unimpressed by “textbooks”, “peer review journals” and so-called “facts”. There are no facts, just dissenting opinion. We are infinitely small compared to nature and can’t grasp anything as certain as a fact.

    Nothing is settled and we should question everything. The debate is NOT over Gore! When so-called “experts” in their “peer reviewed journals” say one thing, we dare the impossible and find imaginative ways to believe something else entirely.

    Rumour has it that many respected scientists and philosophers have serious doubts about global warming. ;)

    Like

  2. Richard Christie

    Local NZ Denier Poneke has aklready begun by improving the conventions regarding quoting reliable sources. In devastating post savaging the Warmists he begins :

    At a conference of researchers and scientists I’ve just attended, one of the welcoming speakers cited “Climate Change” as the biggest worry of our time.

    “You only have to look at the Victorian bushfires last year, the Victorian floods this week, the recent Russian bushfires and the earthquake in Christchurch last week to know that Man Made Climate Change is REAL,” the august dignitary said to thunderous applause.

    Not a single voice was raised in dissent at the dignitary blaming the Christchurch earthquake on Global Warming, and this was an auditorium full of scientists.

    http://poneke.wordpress.com/2010/09/14/quake/

    Like

  3. The Climate Scum post is a great piece of art. But I am convinced that science deniers are like sociopaths. They have absolutely no organ of shame.

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  4. Salute this man! Pachauri did what no climate sceptic is able to do. A Trojan Horse that destroyed the IPCC from the inside

    If Pachauri did not exist, we climate sceptics would have had to literally invent him. He is in fact every sceptic’s dream. How could we have asked for more when he embodies the UN Inter-Governmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) in all completeness? Interestingly, he also strongly epitomizes the typical climate activist and their organizations that they are attached. Did he mould both in his image or its vice versa is however for history to judge.

    Next month 194 governments of the IPCC are scheduled to meet in Busan, South Korea. This is where a plot to ouster Pachuari could be unleashed. Pachuari remains defiant: “At the moment, my mandate is very clear. I have to complete the fifth assessment” The Indian Government who Pachuari is their candidate is equally defiant, backing him to the hilt. If Pachauri goes, we leave the IPCC! And if India leaves the IPCC, it can trigger an exodus.

    Read More: http://devconsultancygroup.blogspot.com/2010/09/salute-this-man-pachauri-did-what-no.html

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  5. Salute this man! Pachauri did what no climate sceptic is able to do. A Trojan Horse that destroyed the IPCC from the inside

    Poe.

    4.No Chinese or Indians, who just want to weaken the competiveness of the West. Tricky bastards!
    5.No previous IPCC participant can participate in the new IPCC (in particular not Pachauri)! . As everybody who has any experience with management knows, if you want to change an organization the first thing you must do is to get rid of all members/employees.

    Like

  6. Yes, Cedric, I also thought Rajan’s comment was in line with the satire.

    Like

  7. With the global elite in a race against time to enforce their draconian eco-fascist agenda before more of the public realize that the entire climate change con is a rigged game, alarmists are getting increasingly desperate and transparently thuggish in their rhetoric.
    The mask of the man-made global warming movement is slowly being ripped away to reveal the true nature of what we face – a gang of hardcore control freaks who have hijacked well-placed environmental concerns as a vehicle through which to enact their religion of death – eugenics.
    This was exemplified earlier this week when Bill Gates was caught in a controversy after he advocated the use of death panels to make rulings on denying health care to the elderly. Gates’ justification that killing old people could save money to preserve jobs was a classic case of social cannibalism, the end justifies the means, and it revealed the true nature of the eco-fascist agenda.
    The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation funds vaccines for the third world to the tune of billions, and yet in his own speeches Gates has advocated using vaccines to lower global population, all in the name of reducing CO2 emissions and combating global warming. In other words, Gates invokes the vaccines he funds in the name of improving health care as a tool of forced sterilization.
    Gates’ call for death panels was mimicked by a September 2009 Newsweek article entitled “The Case For Killing Granny,” in which writer Evan Thomas made the case for rationing health care by denying old people treatment.
    The eugenicist health care argument shares a central parallel with the environmentalist screed – using the threat of artificial scarcity to uphold the role of the state as an authoritarian re-distributor
    This idea is embraced by a growing cult of climate change cult members, who are openly calling for freedom to be crushed and humans to be exterminated in the name of saving the planet.
    Top environmentalist and creator of the Gaia hypothesis James Lovelock told the Guardian earlier this year that “democracy must be put on hold” to combat global warming and that “a few people with authority” should be allowed to run the planet.
    In a recent book, author and environmentalist Keith Farnish called for acts of sabotage and environmental terrorism in blowing up dams and demolishing cities in order to return the planet to the agrarian age. Prominent NASA global warming alarmist and Al Gore ally Dr. James Hansen endorsed Farnish’s book. Full article at: http://www.infowars.com/eco-fascists-call-for-tyranny-to-enforce-draconian-agenda/

    Re: End Game Complete Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-CrNlilZho&feature=player_embedded
    Two Party: http://www.metacafe.com/watch/2824363/the_obama_&…

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  8. Thanks M. Btok. I think you have really caught on to this satire game.

    Like

  9. “global elite”
    “draconian eco-fascist agenda”
    con
    “rigged game”
    thuggish
    “gang of hardcore control freaks”
    “religion of death”
    “death panels”
    ” killing old people”
    cannibalism
    “forced sterilization”
    “environmentalist screed”
    “authoritarian re-distributor”
    ” cult members”
    “humans to be exterminated”
    ” sabotage”
    terrorism

    Wow.
    That was really terrific. Thank you.
    I wish all climate deniers could read this.
    I honestly mean that.
    Well done.
    Ten points and a gold bar. :) :)

    Like

  10. Richard Christie

    What Can True Christians Do to Help Speed Up Global Warming So Jesus Comes Back Quicker?

    http://www.landoverbaptist.org/2008/april/conservationsin.html

    Like

  11. Landoverbaptist is a hoot.
    The guy who writes it is a genius.

    Intelligent Design and Global Warming Denialism.
    Why deny only one branch of science when you can deny two?

    Like

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